Alex Ferguson this week broke his silence on why his face is so red. He explained that it is not because he is a hatred filled, alcoholic pensioner but actually because he is Manchester United through and through. Holding an impromptu press conference at Old Trafford (Theatre Of Cunts) he preceded to explain that after spending 20 years at the club and winning all possible trophies the only way to prove how much United meant to him was to make his face the same colour as the Manchester United home shirts. Sir Alex said, "Aye lock lad, cannae not understand after winning the Premier League so meny teems the onli thing left is turn yeur face blood red, it's the onli wey of proving where your loyalty lies"
He also hit back at fellow Manchester manager Mark Hughes arguing that his face is closer in shade to Manchester United red than it is to Manchester City's sky blue, "It's City isn't it? They're a small club with a small mentality. All they can talk about is Manchester United; they can't get away from it, if Mark Hughes really believed in City then he'd stick his head in a freezer for a good ten minutes before any game to get a blue hue"
Sir Alex also said that for away games he would be blacking up his face like a 1950's racist, "Aye, if you love your club being called racist is a small price to pay"
